Lily’s New Strange World Today

Within the space of six weeks, two of my co-workers have been hospitalized for emergency appendectomy surgery. This is pretty freaky. Because it is my belief that we must have offended some deity that is so petty and insignificant that it attacks people via the most insignificant organ in their body, I am now waiting for my appendix to explode. I made my appeal to the Universe that it should happen this weekend so I can have time to recover, because for it to happen anytime between next week and the middle of December would be highly inconvenient. I wonder what sort of thing one must sacrifice to the Appendix Deity for it to comply.

In proper medical terms, the appendix is known as the cecal appendix or vermiform appendix, vermiform meaning wormlike. The real meaning of this term is “useless wormy looking bit of intestine-like organ.” Nobody knows what the purpose of the appendix is, other than to become inflamed and cause problems for people. Charles Darwin proposed that it was once a larger part of the digestive system, possibly used to help our primitive ancestors digest plant matter such as leaves. Some modern medical scientists believe that it might harbor beneficial digestive organisms. However, no-one seems to have impaired digestive ability, after the removal of their appendix, so the consensus remains that the appendix is generally a useless organ.

However, some people would disagree with this assessment. Take a listen to the dissenting opinion.

I’m pretty sure that this gentleman is making an attempt to appease the Appendix Deity. Maybe I should get started doing the same. Judging by the current pattern at my place of employment, mine could go flooey any time. “Go flooey” is the correct medical terminology for this sort of occurrence, in case you were wondering. So, consider donating one of your healthy appendices to me. Or not. Because I’ll probably be just fine without mine, should I happen to piss off the Appendix Deity.

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