Blooming Psycho’s New Strange World Today

 This proof that Armageddon is coming was found here.

The following is a bit of hate mail written by a Twilite Fan Gril to the administrator of an “I Hate Twilight” group on Facebook , and is pretty typical of comments made by Twilite Fan Grils when someone dislikes their fave sparkly vampire saga.

I am not a member of this group, mainly due to the fact that I don’t like people using the word “gay” to mean “lame” or “bad.” Gay is not “lame” or “bad,” it is a sexual orientation. Should you have a burning need to know whether or not I’m gay, the  real answer is, what the hell does it matter?  For what it’s worth, I’m straight but not narrow. I do have a number of supporters who are gay, and I appreciate all of my friends and supporters very much.

That being said, let us proceed to the featured words of wisdom from todayz Twilite Fan Gril.

Kianna
Today at 6:05am

all u do is hate cuz ur a hater! u create groups about twlight with mean hateful things n think its ok? yea everyone’s free to their opinion but not this free….ur such a bitch for daT!!!!!! APPARENTLY U HAVE NO LIFE CUZ U WOULDNT BE SPENDIN IT ON FACEBOOK ASSAULTING PPL…..i DO NOT see u writin stories everyone likes!

I guess I’m just an evil old bat, but if any child of mine ever wrote a mess like that, I swear that I would ground them until they learned how to write. While I’m loath to give Stephanie Meyer any credit, other than for majorly capitalizing on her penny-dreadful purple prose tomes, I’m pretty sure that she too would cringe at the hideous mutilation of the English language that her devotees are wont to use. I realize that it isn’t only Twilite Fan Grilz who write this way–it seems to be a pretty common abomination. But because these girls tend to be trendy crowd-followers, they would rather be “in” than intelligent. Heaven forbid one should spell out the words “you” or “and,” or the words “to” or “for” rather than using 2 and 4.

My all time favorite Twilite Fan Gril comment has to be “This is a BOOK! A fictionous BOOK!” directed at Kellen Rice’s unfavorable review of Twilight. I have to give that commenter credit, however. At least  she seemed to be trying to sound like she had an IQ bigger than her shoe size, even if “fictionous” is a wonderfully laughable non-word.

I give Twilite Fan Grilz all the freedom in the world to defend their favorite Sparkly Saga, but unless they can express themselves with a reasonable semblance of intelligence, their rants will not only seem like so much girlish nonsense, but like STUPID girlish nonsense. I actually dislike applying the word stupid to people, but so often it is as if they are begging me to. And when you write like poor little “Kianna” and her grilz, you are not only begging, you are wearing a huge neon sign that says “I M STUPD N PROUD 2 B!”  As is anyone who writes in Textese any time they are not texting. SRSLY! IT MKS U LOOK SOFA KING DUM!

The only reason I am jealous of Stephanie Meyer, as I will eventually be accused of being by some Twilite Fan Gril, is because she has made ass-loads of money, and I doubt I ever will. I am not saying that I am a great writer because I actually don’t think I am. However, this is obviously not a prerequisite for becoming a RICH writer, because Stephanie Meyer is only slightly less terrible than the person who wrote the book that inspired me to say “if this hack can get a book published, then certainly I should at least try.” I was actually making corrections as I read that dreadful item. I might venture to say, however, that Stephanie Meyer is less readable than said hack, because I couldn’t even tolerate reading three chapters of Sparkly Purple Prose Hell.

I do not have aspirations to become a millionaire author like Stephen King (who completely deserves it, in my opinion) and Stephanie Meyer (credit where credit is due) but do admittedly aspire to achieve some sort of cult status. If one reads about my book on my website, one sees that the original mission behind the publication of my books was to pay tribute to my spectral friend and co-author, who did achieve cult status in the underground music scene in his short, sad lifetime; to allow him to present certain important messages to the world; and to contribute to the World Federation for Mental Health and their mission to bring compassionate, affordable treatment to persons suffering from mental illness worldwide. However, because of the horrifying video shown below, I have added a new goal:

To bring back dark atmospheres and vampires that are actually frightening to the vampire genre. Because really…can the world take much more of this?

Excuse me while I down my anti-nausea meds.

Though I could do with one of those werewolf puppets. That was cute.

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